New Year, New Me, New Friends?!?

As the year 2020 unfolds unto a new decade; the new year, new me, new goals, new this, new that has been constant discussion since mid-December. But one subject I haven’t noticed in the discussions… new friends. Now before you toss this out your mind & hit me with “girl bye!” Think about it and read below.

Let’s reflect on a classic show like, “Living Single” the pinnacle of adult friendships. Most of characters met after moving to New York City, during their college years, or through work. By the end of the series their friendship network is strong and their basically family by the end of the series. This show is a prime example how new friendships can actually lead to meaningful life-long friendships. And this is due to them seeing each other as they currently are and not through a “use to” lens. “You use to like…”, “We use to___ all the time…”, “Remember when we use to...”. Your new friends get to see you for who you are now and not who you use to be. We all change throughout life, so does our need in people at times.

Now think about it like this: We all identify with the classic episode from ALL our favorite ’90’s and 00’s shows when the friend from our favorite character’s childhood shows up and things get awkward because they do not relate to each other like they used to. Or when our protagonist finds an new interest that comes along with another set of friends and their “original friends” get jealous or concern they are losing the protagonist friendship. We all have been there, if not currently going through it.

This doesn’t mean they aren’t or can’t be friends anymore, just that its time to adjust how they move forward with the friendship.

For the past 4 years, I’ve been forced to change my thinking from, “No new friends..”, to, “You’re pretty cool, let’s hang out.” Opening yourself to new people could be rewarding. With that being said, not every person in your life new or old is willing to be your friend, so be mindful as well.

My steady group of friends most I’ve known since childhood and a few more sprinkled in during our college years. We’ll refer to them as, “The Steadies”. Around the time I started modeling, The Steadies and I life plans and goals were splitting up, some were pursuing advanced degrees, others were getting married, some were at the beginning stage of their careers, then there was me. I wasn’t going in any of the traditional routes or life goals at the time, so venting about why a segment/scene was cut short in a show or discussing posing techniques for 20 minutes was a no go. LOL

Not only because their interest may only go but so far, but the advice and problem-solving may not relate to each other’s fields. Learning to accept that was a little hard at first, because I would have wanted them to be interested close to the same level as me and that would have been selfish. Don’t worry The Steadies and I are still friends and we still hang out and talk to this day.

Since adopting, ” You’re cool, let’s hang out.”

I’ve learned it’s okay to have different friend groups. To me every person has several different sides to them, I think it’s natural to need to be around different people. Also, your different friend groups teach you about yourself.

Adult friendships you cherish more because you have to work to keep them. There’s nothing like school to force you to stay connected. You typically find your adult friends based off your genuine interest.

Sometimes your friend groups actually mesh well and now you have the best of both worlds. My groups are spread apart by some miles, so they haven’t had a chance to get together just yet.

Having friends in general lower stress levels, because you have an emotional support system around you.

I’ve learned new social skills. Like the art of small talk, especially if you’re at an event and only know one person there. How to network and how to make more friends!

This post was supposed to go up late January after I participated in the Monarch Movement (Instagram: @monarch_movement) photo shoot. Monarch Movement is all about bringing women together and “Break Out of Basic”, like their slogan says. It’s ran by Caroline (Instagram: @lookwhoidis) and Laura (Instagram: @laura__ellen__) , former co-workers who always wanted to hang out together, but was too nervous to say anything. Through the powers of social media, they reconnected, became good friends if not BFF’s and decided to create this group for other women who just wanted to step out of their everyday and connect with other women.

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After hearing many of the women stories throughout this experience, I realized we all want to belong and to connect. At times it’s betrayed as weak, weird, and even disloyal for wanting to step outside the norm of being social. You can’t let stop you and your self-expression.

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And sometimes that means making new friends. 😀

Psst: Ladyblu.co exclusive images from this shoot are located on page 2 under Professional Images.